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News

Writer

All for Tulips

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This flash was originally published in The Bitter Oleander (April 2017)

There once lived a King who sat in his velvet robes in his velvet chair and everyone who was near him told him how smartly he sat, how wisely he decided on what to eat for dinner, how kindly he smiled, and how everything he did was just perfect. His hands rested on the arms of his very large chair but all of his subjects imagined instead that his hands were summoning them forward, as if to gently persuade the waft of compliments his way. Please continue, his invisible hands would say, please continue.

At thebottom of the river, beneath the castle where he lived, snakes were formingfrom bacteria; first they would be clumps of dirt but then the dirt would beginto wriggle and soon a large scaly head would emerge out of the water and thenit would climb onto the grassy knoll next to the castle. There was a group ofthe King’s subjects who were responsible for the very specific task of killingthese creatures. But with every transformation of dirt to beast, the beastwould grow stronger and more adept at escaping the soldiers’ knives.

One day oneof these snake-beasts sped up the knoll and just as it was about to head forthe castle door at the other end of the moat, it snuck instead back into theslimy water by slithering down the side of the bridge. It stayed there in thewater for many days, the soldiers unable to get at it. After the twentieth day,the soldiers had fought off many more of these beasts and successfully, easily,killed them. By that time, they had forgotten about the beast under the bridge,resting just under the palace door. The soldiers soon began to carry pocketflasks, thinking that they didn’t need to be so careful now. One or twosoldiers would remember the beast still in the water and would occasionallybring it up, but their comments would be thrown aside with mockery. “If it wasgoing to do something, it would have done it by now,” they would say. “Thesebeasts are not that smart.”

Meanwhilethe beast under the water grew in size and ferocity, all in stealth, feedingoff the gunk at the bottom of the river. It ate aluminum, dull knives, rottenmeat, and moldy algae that was half-poisoned with pollution. Never before had abeast been able to survive this long underwater.

The Kingwas being bathed by ten naked women when he heard the first shout. Someone musthave opened the castle door, for the King had always specifically ordered thatthe door be kept shut, so that he wouldn’t hear any of the killing or any otherextraneous noise. His eyes bulged out in fear, his long beard trembled, and thelittle hairs on his arms chilled and raised up, alert. “What is happening?”

A soldierrushed in, panting. “Everything’s fine, Your Highness.”

The Kingfelt his breath in his chest and felt dizzy after being led out of the bathtub.“I do not want to know. I will assume that you are dealing with it.” The womendried him down.

“Yes, YourHighness. We have experienced a small setback with a beast. Please rest up. Itseems that everything is under control now. I’m sure that shock must havefrightened you and I do apologize, Your Kind Highness.” The soldier’s eyes werered with veins and his face wet with perspiration. More shouting could be heardas he shut the door gently behind him.

“I wouldlike you to dress me now and I would like to lie down.” The ladies dressed theKing in silk purple robes and he lay down on his velvet bed.

Along the bridgeof the moat lay two hundred gouged bodies, some hung over the bridge’s wall,some lay in pieces—a head here, an arm there, a torso. Collapsing piles ofbloodied men. The Beast was now in the main entrance hall, its head reaching upto the ceiling of the castle, its sharp teeth sleek with blood and its nosepointed toward the King’s door. Men rushed around it but their knives wereabsurdly tiny in comparison to the Beast’s size. All a man would have to do wasstand in front of it to be butchered.

The Kinghad had his women serve him a potion of poppy juice to drown out the escalatingnoise, and so as he lay there, dreaming of tulips, he was unconscious of thefact that the Beast had broken through his door in anger. The King perked upwhen he smelled something divine. He turned his head to the side in dreamywonder as this fantastic creature leapt up to the gargantuan bed, the Kinglaughing with delight as the Beast broke his skin.

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